2020 · Family

What A Difference A Day Makes ppl p


OK. It’s time. Actually, it’s past time I’m finally admitting how besieged I’ve felt for, oh, I don’t know, the past three months. The first weeks were fun. After all, what knitter/crafter hasn’t fantasized about unlimited time to indulge in whatever our (my) current obsession is. Even better, with the internet, it takes only seconds to replenish whatever supplies – including food – run low. Until……

It finally hits home that Covid 19 means people everywhere and anywhere can sicken, and die, overloading what we (I) always took for granted, quick and easy access to healthcare, medication and, when needed, a nice clean, cool and private hospital room to rest and recover in. Then, there were none and wherever there was space for a bed became a room. ERs, hallways, tents, athletic fields. There’s no room for pickiness when Covid 19 comes to town and my list of things I always took for granted gets shorter.

Then there’s social distancing and quarantine. Not a problem until it means that the new grandbaby so long awaited can only be worshipped from afar and a healthy loved one can only wave and mouth words of encouragement and love or helpless and disbelieving goodbyes. My family has been so blessed. Me and mine have stayed healthy so far. We’ve been super careful and tried as hard as we can to follow the rules. Masks, gloves, wipes, handwashing, sanitizer – we do them and will continue to do so for as long as it takes because it has worked, so far. The list of things I’ve always taken for granted continues to shrink.

Then, on the last day of March at (naturally) midnight I fall and break my right arm, my first broken bone and the first time the idea of an ER visit scares me enough that I wait four more hours, in pain and fear before I cave and let Mr. iknead drive me there ONLY after he calls the ER first. Four freakin’ hours before yours truly admits that having my right hand totally pointing the wrong way probably should be checked out and we arrive to an empty ER and I mean empty. I was the only patient and had my own personal nurse, doctor and techs. The missing piece? I was alone. My spouse and ultimate support person could not enter the ER and was advised that he could sit in the car while I was there or could go home and wait for a call telling him I was being released. I asked (told) him to go on home and kept him updated via cell phone. Again, the list of things taken for granted shrinks.

If you missed the posts with the gory details, you can find it here.

Just when I think there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, I start seeing an unfamiliar name across social media. George Floyd. I learn that another Black man has died in police custody, all caught on camera and three words become a personal nightmare. I. Can’t. Breathe. I am a white female. I have never had to have The Talk with my children about their behavior when dealing with law enforcement because I was raised with the certainty that policemen are my friends. This is not a lie in my reality. The lie is that we all live the SAME reality. We don’t. Let me say up front that a family member is law enforcement and I would trust him with my life or anyone elses. Thank God that the vast majority of people that we trust with our lives are totally worthy of that trust but tragically, there is a small, unworthy minority and even one untrustworthy, out of control, power tripping and just plain mean authority figure is WAY too many. Ever. My reality is changing. Old attitudes are hard to change but I can hear mine groaning and cracking under the weight of my changed reality. I am embarrassed. I am ashamed. I am angry. I am learning. Most of all, I am changing. More shrinkage of the list.

Yesterday, though, at least a bit of my soul started to heal. Our second oldest grand girl received her first Holy Communion. I was so proud of her, so self possessed at such a young age, making a lifetime commitment. For once, I was glad to be wearing a face mask so my happy tears were hidden. (Happy tears or not, the ugly cry was front and center 😭). I felt truly calm for the first time in months, reassured that no matter what, God is in control, he knows me and loves me anyway. Life is tough at the moment for so many, and tougher for some than others, but it goes on, hopefully leaving a kinder, gentler nation in its wake.

Harper Elizabeth

First Communion

June 7, 2020

Know what I learned today? The shorter my Take It For Granted list becomes, the longer my Gratitude List grows. Sure didn’t see that one coming.

In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers. Mr. Rogers

B

Random

Has My Warranty Expired? or Now What!!??


It’s 11:48 p.m. and I’m wearing my insomniac hat tonight. Now, it’s 11:49 p.m. which gives me about 11 minutes to have that last glass of water before midnight. If you’ve ever undergone a “procedure”, you’re familiar with the nothing to eat or drink after midnight rule. So, yes, there is a “procedure” in my near future. To be more specific, tomorrow at 11:30, I’m having oral surgery to extract three molars on the right and placement of two screws into my upper jawbone for eventual implants and a bridge. I admit that while I don’t have a phobia regarding dentists, I do get anxious a few days beforehand. I will be under heavy sedation so intellectually I know that it will be painless and quick, it’s just that my nervous stomach and jitters haven’t received the It’ll be OK memo.

This dental adventure on top of my broken arm and my subsequent ER visit, followed by a visit to a hand and arm specialist and the surgery to repair it using a steel fixator and let’s not forget about Covid-19 and it’s cousin, Quarantine, has me wondering what next!

I got a photo of my postop x-ray. BTW, if looking at stuff like this makes you feel woozy or sick I encourage you to skip over the low tolerance stuff.

This month’s Knit Crate carried a naked hank of yarn and enough kool-ade to dye it up right. Here’s how mine turned out using cherry on half and blue raspberry on the other half. I think it will knit up into a very interesting pair of socks.

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. Albert Einstein

B

Random

Could the End Be In Sight??


You’d think that with the quarantine/social distancing/mask wearing and sheltering in place I’d be throwing pots and knitting like a maniac, but my orthopedic adventures brought these things to a screeching halt. The backstory is here if you missed it the first time around.

Anyhow, besides just the couple of weeks being bored out of my mind because I couldn’t do much of anything – when you break your dominant arm you’re pretty much out of luck for a while – being housebound hasn’t been too bad. You can bet, though, as soon as I got my cast off I was knitting, even if it was a super slow process. I got my hands back into the clay, finally able to finish what I’d started before I broke my arm and every day is a  little bit better than the day before. Here’s three very patient pots that waited for me to heal.

 

Word on the street is that life is starting to normalize.  Mr. iknead said there was toilet paper on the grocery shelves, no hand sanitizer or gloves, but at least it’s a move in the right direction.

 

From error to error one discovers the entire truth. Sigmund Freud

 

B

p.s. Don’t forget to visit my Etsy shop, ClayDreamsPottery.  I’m always adding new pots and you don’t want to miss out on the perfect one!