Release for Mom, Relief for Us


We buried my mom yesterday in the family plot in Batesville and I think we all heaved a secret sigh of relief to have it over and done with.  Now comes the getting used to part, the part where there’s no more extra laundry, no more nursing home visits, no more knots in the pit of my stomach when the caller ID on my phone says Nursing Home.  I miss my mom, but dementia took her away long before yesterday.

Moving on……


One Christmas project finished, another ready to begin and I’m feverishly trying to finish my Hilton Field Cowl.  Check this out, my first colorwork knitting that’s not stripes –


The weather was beautiful, cool and sunny and I got to take a walk with the Papoose in a quiet, pretty place, her talking my ear off, giggling, giving the hand she was holding lots of kisses and saying I love you.  That’s the best thing.

The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.  Henry Miller



This Is A Tough One

If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you know that my mom has suffered from dementia for several years.  It’s not something I blog about usually, mostly due to my mom’s extremely private nature, but also because my blog is one of my “happy places” and nothing about dementia is happy.  At times, it’s funny  because sometimes, all you can do is laugh, but it’s more often heartbreaking to see a loved one slip away, but continue to be present in body.  That being said; my mom passed away early yesterday morning from her disease.   I’ll miss my mother, even though at times we had a “prickly” relationship, but I like to think that in recent years both of us had mellowed and were able to enjoy each others company more often than not.

Again, I’ll miss my mom, but truly, her death was a release and a relief.

I love you, Mom.  R.I.P.

Life is an adventure in forgiveness.  Norman Cousins



Home Again, I Hate Dementia, What’s Next


Nothing, absolutely nothing.  This is not to say I don’t have projects in varying stages of completion, I have tons of them, just none even close enough to pull an all nighter to have something to post.  But, hey, the day has just begun and I do have 24 hours to finish something.  Totally within the realm of possibility.


Thankfully, my mom was discharged from the hospital early yesterday afternoon to go back to her nursing home.  Her doctor has recommended that she be placed on hospice so Mr. Iknead and I have meetings today with both companies that work within her nursing home.  I’m not ready to lose my Mom, though her dementia has erased my “real” Mom and I’ve been grieving that for a long time.  Dementia kills the person within long before it kills the body without and I hate it, but it is what it is.  To be continued……..


Newest yarn acquisition in my favorite teapot

Another two skeins of Premier Yarns Wool Free Sock.  Mr. Iknead’s socks using this yarn in a blue colorway are still on the needles, but I’m totally loving the way it feels and how it knits up.   As soon as I get something, anything, off the needles, I’m starting myself some socks using this.

Cherish your visions and your dreams, as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.  Napoleon Hill



Patience, patience


Mom was hospitalized yesterday with sepsis, most likely from a UTI and since she’s pretty much nonverbal from dementia, it’s a lot like having a sick baby. She can’t tell us what’s wrong, and we have to use the old trial and error method on our part to figure out what’s wrong and the best way to fix it. She’s getting better though and hopefully will be moved to a step down unit in the next day or so. All the better to practice patience.

No photos today; posting using my iPhone on the teeny tiny screen is hard enough.

A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains. Dutch proverb