The one where one entry may

not be enough to cover what’s been happening in my life over the last several days.  To say I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster would be the understatement of the year.  My dad passed away Friday morning after a short but vicious battle with lung cancer.  We knew he wasn’t doing well, was less responsive, weaker and more short of breath every day, so when his caregivers called Wednesday evening (a week ago today) telling us that he was very close to the end, we weren’t surprised.  We were with him all day and all night Thursday; I told him over and over again how much I loved him and how it was OK for him to go, how we’d miss him terribly but his loving spirit would be with us always.  He slipped away from us at 11 o’clock Friday morning and I’m grateful that he at last is at rest.  He deserves it.  RIP Daddy, I love you.

OK, in a completely different direction, here’s my WIP Wednesday, Drop Stitch Shawl, Version 2, from Ravelry

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.  Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)



The one where the results

Dad’s PET scan were not good.  His cancer has pretty much replaced his left lung, very little airspace left, he has bone and liver metastasis.  Radiation is out of the question, way too much lung involvement, too big and the type of cancer he has, squamous cell, doesn’t respond well to chemo.  I don’t know what’s coming next, Dad’s a real fighter, a never say die kind of guy, but right now, the ball’s in his court, so to speak and we’re all very tired and overwhelmed.

My knitting has saved me the last few days; all I’ve wanted to do is hide out and work on my socks and play in my stash.  Tomorrow is WIP Wednesday, will have to scare something up to share, but right now, I can’t think of a thing.

No picture tonight, just don’t have the heart.

Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.  Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. (1841-1935)



The one where she learns

that her father has lung cancer.  I had a bad feeling about this last week when his doctor asked me to call and discuss the findings on a CT scan done then.  I work in a cancer treatment center, so I knew that most likely he was facing a diagnosis of cancer.  With my mother in a nursing home with dementia, this is doubly hard to deal with.  Our next step is to meet with a surgeon and start exploring treatment options.  His diagnosis is squamous cell carcinoma, left lower lobe, lung, moderately differentiated.  Not a great prognosis, but not hopeless either.  One day at a time.

I’m thinking about starting another blog with my dad’s diagnosis and the journey that my family are about to start.  If it happens, chances are that it will be updated once or twice a week, depending upon what’s happening.  My only reservation is that I tend to be a tad obsessive and usually run myself ragged trying to live up to my (impossible) demands.  You know, this could be a way to practice being kind and caring to myself, learning that sometimes “good enough sometimes is good enough”.  This is sounding better and better.  I can always shut it down if it gets overwhelming.  But, this really doesn’t mesh with my never say die, strong-willed, I can do it all personality.  They say old dogs can learn new tricks.  I think I’ll sleep on it.

OK, now I know I’ve got too much on my plate.  Again I notice that I did a blog post last week but neglected to publish it.  Maybe another blog right now isn’t such a good idea.  I’ll still sleep on it.

I’ve no new pics to post, but this never fails to make me smile –

Gotta love the sweater.

A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company.  Charles Evans Hughes (1862-1948)